Just saw this at [link]
1. This Pokémon is your best friend.
Yes, why not?
2. This Pokémon is your boss that you need to impress for a promotion.
How should I do this if he never even shows up?!? *frustration from hours of fruitless Feebas-search breaking way*
3. This Pokémon is your partner for your science project.
This might actually be really cool.
4. This Pokémon is looking for every way possible to murder you.
Yay, I'm going to be eletrocuted. So not down with that.
5. This Pokémon is your mother-in-law.
Okay, this might be intersting
6. This Pokémon is your boyfriend/girlfriend.
Uh, yes, baby. I'm taking you home tonight!
7. This Pokémon is your ex.
Yep, to much of a bitch. You think normal PMS is bad? Try Gyarados-PMS!
8. This Pokémon stalks you every waking moment.
I'm slightly worried. This may or may not turn out badly.
9. This Pokémon likes to snuggle with you.
Yay, kitty snuggles :3
10. This Pokémon ate all your cheesecake.
And then he just dug his way out. I'm so going to kill that critter! Nobody steals my Granny's cheesecake and gets away with it.
11. This Pokémon is what you felt in your bed last night.
Oh, well. I have a kitty to snuggle and know a dog to cuddle.
12. This Pokémon banged your mom.
This is creepy beyond all measure.
13. This Pokémon will do anything to try and get in your pants.
14. This Pokémon died by your own hands.
Hey, chicken that fries itself. Only thing that could be better would be bacon that... *looks at Gen5-Starter* Goddamnit!
15. This Pokémon is your loyal companion for life.
No. Just no.
16. This Pokémon reads you bed time stories.
17. This Pokémon is your loving pet.
Screw your lap dog, I have a tortoise!
18. This Pokémon is your creepy dentist.
I'd sooner leave my teeth to rod than let this thing touch them.
19. This Pokémon is what you dream about every day.
More like Stardom, actually.
20. This Pokémon is what you found in your basement when you moved into your new house.
*flips open Pokédex* "Camerupt has a volcano inside its body. Magma of 18,000 degrees F courses through its body. Occasionally, the humps on this Pokémon's back erupt, spewing the superheated magma." Oh, cool just like Naples!